you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
