Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
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I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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