he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize