She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
