My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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