im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
