his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
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