it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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