If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
