just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize