Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize