woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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