i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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