Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
