im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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