I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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