Everything about him screamed your future.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
