She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I could make wine with my vomit
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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