OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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