Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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