what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
