Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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