Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
