So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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