Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Sorry my hands just texted you
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
