I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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