and you said cock pushups were impossible
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
