I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
