I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
