He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
