You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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