I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
