I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
