I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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