lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
