I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
