dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize