I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize