Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
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