I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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