I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
