I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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