i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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