it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
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