Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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