This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
