I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just pee around me
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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