If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize