These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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