This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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