Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Hippo gnu deer
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
