a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
