I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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