Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My feet surprised me
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