I just cut my nipple shaving
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
