The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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