New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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