He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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