yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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