I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
