i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
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